Revised Christmas songs

I did exercise a bit of literary license here. We don't have a suit of armor in the hall. We keep ours in the parlor (sitting room) because the hall is too narrow. :)

(Jingle Bells)

Santa hats, Santa hats
Dress up one and all
From cats, to dogs, to baby
To armor in the hall

The house was looking bleak
No green or red in sight
I thought I’d cheer it up
On this dreary night
So upstairs I searched
And Santa hats I found
Then I had the bright thought
Of passing them around

Santa hats, Santa hats
Dress up one and all
From cats, to dogs, to baby
To armor in the hall

Revised Christmas songs

When the tuxedo cat is not knocking over the the tree by attempting to drag his 19-pound body up it, our oversized puppy has a go at it by trying to rub against it -- and, yes, I do worry that she might think it is indoor plumbing.

(We wish you a Merry Christmas)

I wish we had left the tree down
I wish we had left the tree down
I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for “kids”

The cats, dog and boy
Like to scatter the joy

I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for kids

The cats like to climb its branches
The cats like to climb its branches
I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for “kids”

The dog tries to knock it over
The dog tries to knock it over
I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for “kids”

The boy likes to take the bells off
The boy likes to take the bells off
I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for kids

They all steal the shiny gold drums
They all steal the shiny gold drums
I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for kids

The cats, dog and boy
Think the tree is a toy

I wish we had left the tree down
It’s too tempting for kids

Revised Christmas songs

Our tuxedo cat has the most unfortunate marking of a white "C" on his otherwise black face. It gives him away in the tree all the time.

Revised Christmas Song
(Oh Christmas Tree)


Oh, Christmas cat, Oh Christmas cat
I see you hiding in the tree
Oh, Christmas cat, Oh Christmas cat
On your face is a big white “C”

Your fur is almost wholly black
Except your ruff, and paws front and back

Oh, Christmas cat, Oh Christmas cat
On your face is a big white “C”

Revised Christmas songs

Revised Christmas Song
(Jolly Old Saint Nicholas)

Silly little Sophie pup
Please don’t pull so hard
Yes, I see that house lit up
And a Santa in the yard

Santa Claus is rooted down
He’s in the yard to stay
Silly little Sophie pup
Won’t you please obey?

Revised Christmas songs

Revised Christmas Song

I’m dreading such a wet Christmas
Just like the weather of this week
Where the rain gutters dribble
And people quibble
Because they can’t drive properly in the street

I’m dreading such a wet Christmas
Every time I dry a pet
May your days be bright until sunset
And may none of your Christmases be wet

Revised Christmas Songs

Oh, you better not shop
At home on the net
Buy at one pop
Money quickly is spent
Credit cards are easy to use

When January comes
And your budget is tanked
There will be bills to be paid
And friends to be thanked
Credit cards are easy to use

Did you really need those toy trains
For Uncles Bob and Phil
When your bathrooms all need new drains
And brand-new window sills?

Oh, you better not shop
At home on the net
Buy at one pop
Money quickly is spent
Credit cards are easy to use

Revised Christmas Songs

Today my friend and I started writing revised Christmas songs. Admittedly, I was not very witty with the first one. Perhaps I'll do better tomorrow. I do know I won't be re-writing Christian Christmas songs, because that just seems wrong.

Revised Christmas Song:

Trash the house with bits of plastic
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
'Tis the season to go spastic
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Fake pine needles strewn on the floor
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Do I need a wreath on the glass front door?
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la