Stream of consciousness poem -- part 47

Chapter 47

October 29, 2011 – In the evening

Tonight

There is a

Hallowe’en party

At the house

Of a friend and

Neighbor

Last month

I had said

That I would

Be there

But so much

Has changed

In the

Last month

I put

My son

To bed

With stories

And with songs

As I do

Every night

That

I’m home

Downstairs

My husband

And my brother

Are ensconced

In the recliners

Watching

Some show

I don’t want

To watch

Some show

I don’t want

To

Stay home

I say

“I’m thinking

About going

To the Hallowe’en party

Does one of you

Want to come

With me?”

They say

No

They’d rather

Stay home

And watch

Some show

“I’m going”

I say

“You guys can listen

For the little guy

I’ll only stay

An hour

Or so”

So I go

Upstairs

And pull on

A black dress

And an orange sweater

And fasten to my dress

An amber and jet

Spider

For one hour

I will call myself

A modern witch

In orange and black

And wearing a

Spider

I will

Not talk

About suicide

Or the strain on my marriage

Or how I will look after

A broken forty-year-old

While raising an active three-year-old

I will not talk

What really

Scares me

I will

Pretend

To be afraid

Of the plastic goblins

And of the dark

And of strange noises

I will pretend

That all

Is well

With me

I will

Pretend

To be something

That I am not

For

One hour